"That was paint?! - I thought it was marshmellow fondant!!"

Eating paint is dangerous, even if it is tempting, which is why painting shouldn't just be left to anyone, and is also why there are contractors.  Painting used to be only done by magicians - people who had mystical powers and surprisingly few options when it came to the perpetuation of their species - but more recently this has fallen into the hands of painting contractors.  These painting contractors are people who know things normal people don't; like how to color your child gold for halloween, or why men always lose any discussion within a relationship that starts with "I was thinking..."

I know you probably think getting a painting contractor is excessive, that you've watched enough episodes of "Extreme Home Makeover" that you feel like you've hugged Ty Pennington,

"No Ty, I can totally understand how Paige could make you feel insecure"

But you haven't.  And likely you don't know too much about painting or contractors.  So don't let yourself get too crazy.  Don't let yourself get too out of hand.  

Now that we've gotten that out of the way I'd like to discuss something else that's been bothering me.  My mother.  She won't stop painting.  She is obsessed with it.  She paints rooms that have already been painted.  They don't need to be painted but apparently from all tangible evidence, she thinks that the do.  My folks hire contractors for construction projects at the moment but I think it's just a matter of time before my mother takes up that as well.  She'll be buying jackhammers and dropping i-beams in with cranes.  

I don't really love painting contractors.  I just wish my mother would stop painting.  Not to mention partying in New Orleans.