When Pennsylvania was invented, everyone knew they'd make a town called Pittsburgh, but no one knew that they'd have retirement communities. Do you want to know what I'd do if I had an assisted livinig community all to myself? I'll tell you.
1. I'd hire only really friendly and fun people.
2. I'd install fence that instead of being electrified bursts into flames whenever you touch it.
3. I'd install a retirement home water park with a wave pool and waterfall.
4. I'd install trampolines in the hallways so you didn't have to walk.
5. I'd hire koala bears to just hang around and be adorable and tattoo "Senior Living" on their arms.
6. Instead of stairs I'd have slides.
7. Around the retirement home I'd have a go-cart race track and all disputes would be settled there.
8. I'd put a taco stand every 50 feet so if you get hungry, only 50 more feet and you get a taco!
9. I'd have donut stands between the taco stands so if you get hungry for a donut, VIOLA!
10. I'd have moving sidewalks for where the trampoline sidewalks aren't at and then I'd make them go like 30 mph.
I'll let you know when it's finished. It will be awesome.
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