What happens in Mobile AL almost always involves pests which is why in the south, you need pest control.
One summer my cousin who I will call Stone Cold Austin, stepped in a fire ant hill. Those fire ants hated Stone Cold Austin so much that they bit him all over the place. It was like Stone Cold had insulted their Queen or something. I remember in that moment, while standing there, watching what I could only assume were the last moment's of Stone Cold's short unnotable life, all I could think was:
"Why didn't I become a pest control man and stage a preemptive attack on these life sucking vermin?!"
Stone Cold did survive, but it was a close call. When the paramedics showed up all that they yelled was:
"WHY DIDN'T ANYONE HIRE PEST CONTROL!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!"
When Stone Cold came out of it we had to explain to him what happened. He couldn't understand it. He couldn't comprehend why such angry little insects existed on earth. Why didn't those ants realize he stepped on their home and killed dozens and dozens of their compatriots simply by accident. He was just a kid.
HE WAS JUST A KID.
He didn't know better. He couldn't...
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