Regret...

When she first said it, those words seemed so innocent.  Like someone saying "hello", or the McD's guy asking if I want fries with my meal.  But looking back it's become clear there wasn't anything innocent about those words.

"Designer Handbag Sale" has seared itself into my soul.  What I thought was just another sale of women's designer handbags became an event - nay - a tragedy that has cast a shadow over my life; both before and after that day.  I didn't used to cry when I saw designer purses, and if I did, it was nothing like I do now.  Now it comes like a wave, like a tsunami of emotion that I can't contain regardless of the consequences.  If I told you about it you couldn't understand, if you saw it you'd never be able to forget.  The purses - the miles of designer purses like an army of redcoats that would never end and who's pity had died with their birth. 

Some who were there realized what was happening.  That the "Designer Handbag Sale" was just a ruse for something much bigger than a sale of womens authentic handbags.  They sensed something I couldn't see, and I'm not even sure they could, but their gut was enough for them.  It moved them.  It saved them.  But not me, I was too reasonable.  Too stuck in my ways.  Too strong to accept that there are things in this world bigger than me and bigger than any one man.

Can regret heal me?  I think not.  Can forgiveness soothe my pain?  If so I have yet to find it.  Can time turn back to when things were still simple and innocent?  I fear such things are only childish longings and that this pain - my pain is forever and forever tied to three words that shall never be the same:

Designer Handbag Sale...

How dangerous could I be?..