Are hCG diet injections safe? Ummm.... I don't know. Let me tell you what I do know.
1. To go on a diet that involves hCG shots means you will only eat 500 calories a day and inject yourself with a hormone that is prevalent withing pregnant women for about 30 days.
2. The FDA has not approved this hormone for diets but rather to help women get pregnant.
3. It is claimed that hCG shots will allow you to digest your fat deposits that your body doesn't normally access.
Is diet and exercise finally a thing of the past? Do we not need to work out any more? There are a couple questions you should ask when doing a diet: 1. Is it safe? 2. Is it sustainable? 3. Is there a better way? Many experts would answer 'no' to all but question 3 on the list there. There is a quote that comes to mind when considering this diet:
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. - Beverly Sills
Of course Beverly could be wrong and I'm willing to bet that she doesn't know what hCG diet injections are so she may not be a good reference on that. Anyways, don't rush into a diet without consulting a doctor.
Monday, August 30, 2010
The Politician Limo
In Washington DC, people need a limousine service to get around. I mean, people in Washington DC aren't like you and me. They are important. They have places to get and they have things to do. Maybe they need to run to the White House for tea with someone in the Oval Office - yea - the OVAL OFFICE. Ever heard of it? Or maybe they need to go to the gas station to buy some Purple Stuff to drink with their breakfast? These kinds of things don't only happen to you and me, they also happen to rich and important people.
Because the limousine service in DC exists in such a different market than the rest of the country, aka it works with politicians, you need to have options that other places don't necessarily have, like a fax machine. All Washington DC limos should have at least 3 - 5 fax machines. Politics is all about right now, and fax machines are the most current and rapid means of communication. With out a fax machine you might as well be cut off from the world when you're a politician.
Another thing you're going to look for in a limousine service if you are a politician is a limo with your face on the side of it. That's why the perfect DC limousine service would have a picture of every politician's face so when they want a limo, they can always find it again when they go into some place. They just have to look for a limo with their face on it. It really simplifies things. If it was possible I'd say that every limo should have the face of whoever is renting it on the side all the time.
When you're a politician you always need to be letting people know you're out there. That you're just like the common man with the only difference being that you get paid 5 -20 times their salary and get a summer vacation every year. A good way a limousine service could help the politician to keep this on the top of the public's mind is to rent a limo with a flier distribution system. You'd load a PDF file, and then the limo would have 6 high speed printers on the roof that would print out those fliers right while you drive. Not only that the wind will carry those fliers to the American public and let them know that you are out there. That you know who they are and what they need.
The other thing that a limousine service needs to keep in mind is that politicians are stressed individuals. They have a lot to take care. There are people counting on them. That isn't an easy thing to handle. That's why a good limousine service would install one of those airport chairs into the limo as well, you know, the massage chairs? One minute of massage for a dollar? Five minutes for two, or something like that. You could put a massage table in there along with a masseuse but we don't need any more rumors for the politician and what happens if the limo has to stop abruptly? The politician would shoot off the table like a rocket and the only way to prevent that would be to strap him down and if you do that you will basically have constructed a lethal injection table for the guy. Turns out no one wants that in a limo.
While there are other ideas on how to target the politician market I'm pretty sure that all the other ideas are bad. Like terrible. Keep it simple: a fax machine, six printers, and an airport/mall massage chair.
Because the limousine service in DC exists in such a different market than the rest of the country, aka it works with politicians, you need to have options that other places don't necessarily have, like a fax machine. All Washington DC limos should have at least 3 - 5 fax machines. Politics is all about right now, and fax machines are the most current and rapid means of communication. With out a fax machine you might as well be cut off from the world when you're a politician.
Another thing you're going to look for in a limousine service if you are a politician is a limo with your face on the side of it. That's why the perfect DC limousine service would have a picture of every politician's face so when they want a limo, they can always find it again when they go into some place. They just have to look for a limo with their face on it. It really simplifies things. If it was possible I'd say that every limo should have the face of whoever is renting it on the side all the time.
When you're a politician you always need to be letting people know you're out there. That you're just like the common man with the only difference being that you get paid 5 -20 times their salary and get a summer vacation every year. A good way a limousine service could help the politician to keep this on the top of the public's mind is to rent a limo with a flier distribution system. You'd load a PDF file, and then the limo would have 6 high speed printers on the roof that would print out those fliers right while you drive. Not only that the wind will carry those fliers to the American public and let them know that you are out there. That you know who they are and what they need.
The other thing that a limousine service needs to keep in mind is that politicians are stressed individuals. They have a lot to take care. There are people counting on them. That isn't an easy thing to handle. That's why a good limousine service would install one of those airport chairs into the limo as well, you know, the massage chairs? One minute of massage for a dollar? Five minutes for two, or something like that. You could put a massage table in there along with a masseuse but we don't need any more rumors for the politician and what happens if the limo has to stop abruptly? The politician would shoot off the table like a rocket and the only way to prevent that would be to strap him down and if you do that you will basically have constructed a lethal injection table for the guy. Turns out no one wants that in a limo.
While there are other ideas on how to target the politician market I'm pretty sure that all the other ideas are bad. Like terrible. Keep it simple: a fax machine, six printers, and an airport/mall massage chair.
Friday, August 27, 2010
What is this we're riding in? Is it money?
In Mobile AL, skin care is important just like it is EVERYWHERE ELSE. If you've ever had bad skin, you'll know what I'm talking about. That's the thing about people who have good skin, they never think skin care is important, because you can't miss what you don't not have - make sense?
A person who with good skin who doesn't think skin care is important is like a rich person who says, "Money isn't everything" as if money isn't that big of a deal. Of course it isn't that big of a deal - YOU'RE RICH. Being rich isn't just a condition. It's a state of mind. A state of mind that allows you to say things that amongst your friends sounds deep but amongst anyone else is clearly asinine. Like "Money isn't everything". Yea. We know that. I don't eat Mac and Cheese and think that I'm eating money. I don't ride the bus to work and think that I'm riding money. Everyone knows money isn't everything, but at the same time everyone knows it's one of the big things.
What was I talking about? Skin care? Yea, that is pretty important. Take care of it or lose it.
A person who with good skin who doesn't think skin care is important is like a rich person who says, "Money isn't everything" as if money isn't that big of a deal. Of course it isn't that big of a deal - YOU'RE RICH. Being rich isn't just a condition. It's a state of mind. A state of mind that allows you to say things that amongst your friends sounds deep but amongst anyone else is clearly asinine. Like "Money isn't everything". Yea. We know that. I don't eat Mac and Cheese and think that I'm eating money. I don't ride the bus to work and think that I'm riding money. Everyone knows money isn't everything, but at the same time everyone knows it's one of the big things.
What was I talking about? Skin care? Yea, that is pretty important. Take care of it or lose it.
Try not to sleep on the floor of the auto body shop anymore.
If you've had a bad night and it was consequent of sleeping on the floor at an auto body shop in Spring Hill FL, then I have some advice for you: stop sleeping on floors.
Sleeping on floors anywhere, including auto body shops, can be bad for your back. You could need to go to a back doctor after doing that for very long. Of course there always is context right? I mean maybe you have a good reason for sleeping on that auto body shop's floor. Like you own the shop and you were finishing things up that night and it was like 3 am and you had an hour drive home and then an hour drive back and you needed to be back by 8 so you'd have to drive for 2 hours and then the regular getting ready stuff at your house so you'd only get two and a half hours of sleep if you left. If your situation was like that, then I'd understand. I mean I slept on a kitchen floor once just because my house was 3 minutes away and I was really tired. Not nearly as good of a reason. Not nearly.
Sleeping on floors anywhere, including auto body shops, can be bad for your back. You could need to go to a back doctor after doing that for very long. Of course there always is context right? I mean maybe you have a good reason for sleeping on that auto body shop's floor. Like you own the shop and you were finishing things up that night and it was like 3 am and you had an hour drive home and then an hour drive back and you needed to be back by 8 so you'd have to drive for 2 hours and then the regular getting ready stuff at your house so you'd only get two and a half hours of sleep if you left. If your situation was like that, then I'd understand. I mean I slept on a kitchen floor once just because my house was 3 minutes away and I was really tired. Not nearly as good of a reason. Not nearly.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Hi - I'm a massage therapist. What to be my friend?!
In Miami massage therapists can be anyone. They could be your neighbor. They could be your landlord. They could be your friend. Lets aim for the latter option. If they are your friend then you can get free massages. Because that's what massage therapists do. They give massages.
I'm thinking I might start telling people I'm one of those massage therapists, and that's how I'll say it too, I'll be like;
You know, I'm also one of those massage therapists. You've heard of them right?...
Then they'd want to be my friend. But when they realize that I give terrible massages they'll never ask for a massage from me again but by that time it'll be too late because we will already be friends!! GENIUS!!! MY PLAN IS UNSTOPPABLEEEEEE!!!!!
It might actually be stoppable. But I think it will hold up for a while. At least a little bit.
If that doesn't work I might just tell people I'm rich. That's an exchange of goods right? They'll be like,
I have a great personality and attractive friends, I'll feed of you, sometimes quite literally, and you can socialize with me.
I heard that worked for Tyson. Though he was rich. So a little different.
I'm thinking I might start telling people I'm one of those massage therapists, and that's how I'll say it too, I'll be like;
You know, I'm also one of those massage therapists. You've heard of them right?...
Then they'd want to be my friend. But when they realize that I give terrible massages they'll never ask for a massage from me again but by that time it'll be too late because we will already be friends!! GENIUS!!! MY PLAN IS UNSTOPPABLEEEEEE!!!!!
It might actually be stoppable. But I think it will hold up for a while. At least a little bit.
If that doesn't work I might just tell people I'm rich. That's an exchange of goods right? They'll be like,
I have a great personality and attractive friends, I'll feed of you, sometimes quite literally, and you can socialize with me.
I heard that worked for Tyson. Though he was rich. So a little different.
Invest in yourself. Invest in your face.
I bet if you did cosmetic dentistry in Washington DC that you'd get a lot of business. Of course that's pretty well based on the thought that everyone in DC gets in a lot of fights. And I figure whenever you get in a fight you end up getting punched in the mouth. I don't know if that's right. But if it is you basically creates the following cycle:
1. Fight
2. Get Cosmetic Dentistry Work Done.
3. Repeat
See how that works? You basically would want a membership with a cosmetic dentist. You'd have a gym membership, a Blockbuster membership, and a cosmetic dentist membership. How much that would cost on the other hand I have no clue. But it won't be cheap. My impression is that it will cost you upwards of five thousand dollars. Is your face worth that much money to you? It may not be. But it could be.
Personally I've never had cosmetic dentistry work done. But you know who has? Celebrities. I'm guessing but I'm probably right. Rich people do everything. And if my living depended on my looks (it doesn't but it totally could) then I'd probably do it too. It would be an investment. An investment into my face.
1. Fight
2. Get Cosmetic Dentistry Work Done.
3. Repeat
See how that works? You basically would want a membership with a cosmetic dentist. You'd have a gym membership, a Blockbuster membership, and a cosmetic dentist membership. How much that would cost on the other hand I have no clue. But it won't be cheap. My impression is that it will cost you upwards of five thousand dollars. Is your face worth that much money to you? It may not be. But it could be.
Personally I've never had cosmetic dentistry work done. But you know who has? Celebrities. I'm guessing but I'm probably right. Rich people do everything. And if my living depended on my looks (it doesn't but it totally could) then I'd probably do it too. It would be an investment. An investment into my face.
This band is so HOT - You think they're a risk to this building?
I'm going to move to Louisville. Then I'm going to start a band and call it, "Heating and Cooling". You know why? Because when we show up to the club, they're going to want to turn up the cooling system because for the entire length of the show we're going to be heating that place up. It'll start cool, and then it will end hot. But starting out with "cooling" doesn't seem as cool. Ironically. That's why I'm sticking to Heating and Cooling for the band name.
The other thing is we're going to really be heating the whole time we're there. We're going to be bringing the heat. The venue is going to have to bring all of the cooling. If they don't, we just might bring so much heat that the venue burns down. We'd be known as the venue killers. So hot, that we're too hot. Not only too hot to handle, but too hot to invite over. That's a different degree of hot. That's a degree that needs a warning. The Food and Drug Administration should issue a warning about us and make us wear it on clearly visible shirts at all times. It would be like;
The other thing is we're going to really be heating the whole time we're there. We're going to be bringing the heat. The venue is going to have to bring all of the cooling. If they don't, we just might bring so much heat that the venue burns down. We'd be known as the venue killers. So hot, that we're too hot. Not only too hot to handle, but too hot to invite over. That's a different degree of hot. That's a degree that needs a warning. The Food and Drug Administration should issue a warning about us and make us wear it on clearly visible shirts at all times. It would be like;
This band member along with this band,
"Heating and Cooling" may be hazardous
to both the viewers and the venue.
"Heating and Cooling" may be hazardous
to both the viewers and the venue.
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